On the Lighter side...

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...Here are a few Shrewd quick ones for those who tend to be scatterbrains - me being one of them - and some dry jokes...they could always come in handy!

Jokes:
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreak

What do cows serve during an earthquake?
Milkshakes

At a towning company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows!"

Mental breakdown in progress - do not disturb!


Lines:
I love dealines. I especially like the whooshing sound as they go flying by...

I couldn't repair your your brakes, so I made your horn louder

When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your picnic table will keep the campsites on either side vacant!


I don't what your problem is, I'll bet it's hard to pronounce!

Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental

It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

The only subtitution for good manners is fast reflexes

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

It's hard to make a comback when you haven't been anywhere.

Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.

Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch!

If at first you don't succeed - try management.

A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

The only perfect science is hindsight.

If you have lost something, it will be in the lost place you look for it.

I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

Definitions:
Drooling: how teething babies wach their chins.

Depression: It's merely anger without enthusiasm

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~ If there is something you need to tell me - from pouring orange juice to looking forward when cycling - let me know HERE! ~

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